The Freedom of Letting Go: A Devotional on Accepting Others Without Trying to Fix Them

The Burden of Fixing Others

For years, I carried an invisible toolbox everywhere I went. Inside were all the solutions, advice, and corrections I believed others needed. When someone shared their struggles, my first instinct was to pull out my tools and fix them. I’d offer unsolicited advice, point out where they went wrong, and suggest exactly how they should change. I genuinely believed I was helping.

But over time, I noticed something troubling: my “help” often created distance rather than connection. Friends became hesitant to share their struggles. Family members grew defensive before I even spoke. And I felt increasingly exhausted from carrying that heavy toolbox everywhere.

Then one day, while reading Matthew’s Gospel, these words struck me with new clarity:

“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.” (Matthew 7:1-2)

I realized my “fixing” was often just another form of judgment—a subtle belief that I knew better than others about their own lives. This revelation began a profound shift in how I approach relationships.

The Wisdom of Letting Others Grow

Scripture reminds us that growth is a personal journey orchestrated by God, not by well-meaning friends:

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6)

This verse reveals a beautiful truth: God has already begun His work in each person we encounter. Our role isn’t to take over that work but to honor it. When I try to “fix” someone, I’m essentially saying I don’t trust God’s timing or methods in their life.

The apostle Paul understood this when he wrote:

“Each of us will give a personal account to God. So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall.” (Romans 14:12-13)

This passage reminds us that each person’s journey belongs to them and God alone. Our responsibility isn’t to correct their path but to ensure we’re not placing obstacles on it.

Supporting Without Controlling

So if we’re not meant to fix others, what are we called to do? Scripture offers beautiful guidance:

“Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.” (Philippians 2:4)

Taking interest without taking control—this is the delicate balance we’re called to maintain. It means listening without immediately formulating solutions. It means offering support without attaching expectations. It means celebrating others’ journeys even when they look different from what we might choose.

Another powerful verse guides us:

“Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness create space for others to grow authentically. They don’t demand change but offer grace for the journey.

The Freedom in Acceptance

When I finally put down my toolbox and stopped trying to fix everyone around me, I discovered something unexpected: freedom. I want freedom from the exhaustion of responsibility that was never mine to carry, freedom to love people as they are, not as I think they should be, and freedom to trust God’s work in their lives.

As Peter reminds us:

“Instead, you must grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” (2 Peter 3:18)

Growth happens in grace—both receiving it and extending it to others. When we accept people where they are, we create an environment where authentic growth becomes possible.

Reflections for the Heart

Take a moment to consider these questions:

1. In what relationships am I carrying a “fix-it” toolbox? What would it look like to set it down?

2. How might my attempts to change others actually reflect my own need for control rather than genuine concern?

3. When someone shares their struggles with me, what’s my first instinct? To solve, to sympathize, or to be present?

4. How can I better discern when someone asks for my help versus when they need a listening ear?

5. In what ways has God been patient with my own growth journey? How can I extend that same patience to others?

   
   

Living This Truth

If you’re ready to put down your own toolbox, here are some practical steps:

Practice presence. The next time someone shares a struggle, resist the urge to offer solutions immediately. Instead, ask, “Would you like my advice, or do you just need me to listen?” Honor their answer.

Acknowledge your limits. Remind yourself daily: “I am not responsible for changing others. That work belongs to God.”

Celebrate differences. When someone makes choices different from what you would make, practice saying, “That wouldn’t work for me, but I’m glad you’ve found what works for you.”

Share your journey. Consider telling someone about your experience of learning to accept rather than fix. Your vulnerability might help them on their own journey.

A Prayer for Wisdom and Compassion

Heavenly Father,

Forgive me for the times I’ve appointed myself as the fixer of others when that role belongs to You alone. Help me see people through Your eyes—as beloved works in progress, each on their unique journey with You.

Grant me the wisdom to know when to speak and when to listen, when to act and when to be present. Replace my critical spirit with Your compassion, my need to control with Your perfect trust.

Teach me to love others as they are, not as I think they should be. Help me create spaces of grace where authentic growth can happen—both in others and in myself.

When I’m tempted to pick up my toolbox again, remind me of Your patient work in my life, and help me extend that same patience to others.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

May this devotional remind you that letting go of the need to fix others opens your hands to receive and share a greater gift: unconditional acceptance—the very gift Christ offers to each of us.