Biblical Forgiveness: A Command, A Gift, A Decision, A Process

The Bible is filled with examples of people who struggled, fell short, and found grace. These stories are not just nice tales— they’re a roadmap for how to recover when we mess up as well. The Bible gives us principles for righting our wrongs that can bring healing to ourselves and others. We all mess up at some point in life, whether it’s something small like snapping at someone or something more serious like abusing drugs or alcohol, cheating on our partner or spouse, or even committing a crime. More serious offenses may require legal restitution in addition to the emotional and relational work of Biblical forgiveness. But no matter what you’ve done, God still loves you — and so does everyone else. If someone has hurt you or betrayed you in some way, the struggle to forgive them may feel impossible. You may not be ready yet to ask them for forgiveness but there are things you can do on your own that will help start the process of forgiving them from your heart. Here are six ways to forgive anyone from the Bible:

Recognize the Pain You’re Feeling

When we’re hurt, it’s easy to get stuck in anger and bitterness— even if it’s justified. But we can’t let those feelings fester inside of us. When we’re struggling with forgiveness, it can be helpful to recognize and name the emotions you’re experiencing as anger, disappointment, and guilt. You may be feeling any or all of these or something else entirely, but by acknowledging your emotions you can start to move forward. You can also talk to a counselor or trusted friend about your feelings and experiences.

Confess Your Sin and Repent

When you’ve done something wrong, you’ll never find true healing until you own up to your actions. This is true whether the offense is large or small. And you don’t have to wait for the other person to forgive you — in fact, you can’t expect anyone else to do it for you. You’ll probably want to share your feelings with the person you hurt and ask for forgiveness, but you can also write them a letter or journal your thoughts. You can also ask God to help you find the words to say and to help you accept any forgiveness the other person may offer you. When you’ve wronged someone and you’re struggling to forgive yourself, try to find the courage to ask for forgiveness. You don’t have to do this with a public Facebook post or grand gesture — find a way that works for you.

Forgive Yourself

And while you’re at it, forgive yourself for your sin. God forgives us when we ask, but that doesn’t mean we should forget what we’ve done. Instead, use it as a reminder to do better in the future. Forgive yourself and commit to being a better person. Put your energy into making amends and becoming a better person. You’ve already asked God to forgive you, so now it’s time to forgive yourself.

Ask God to Help You Forgive

When you’ve done everything you can do on your own and you’re ready to move forward, ask God to help you forgive the other person. He’s waiting for you to ask, and he wants to help you. You don’t have to let the pain fester inside or let the bitterness consume you. You can let it go if you want to.

Talk to a Trusted Friend or Counselor

If you’ve tried everything on this list and you’re still struggling, it might be time to talk to a professional. A professional counselor can help you uncover any long-buried emotions and work through them. And while it’s definitely important to work on your own feelings, it can also be helpful to hear a different perspective on things. A counselor can give you a different perspective and help you see things you may have missed on your own.

Biblical Steps for Forgiveness, A Process To Help You Heal

Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, but when you use these Biblical steps for forgiveness you can speed up the process. It takes time, but you can do it. Start by letting go of any anger or resentment you might be holding onto. This doesn’t mean you have to pretend it didn’t happen or like the person who wronged you — it just means letting go of the negative emotions that are keeping you down. Next, let go of any expectations you have for the other person. This is the person who hurt or betrayed you, so let go of any expectations that they’ll suddenly change their ways or remember everything you’ve done for them. Accept the situation for what it is, let go of any bitterness or expectations, and focus on moving forward.

Make a Commitment to Change, A Decision to Move Forward

Finally, make a commitment to change and a decision to move forward. You may have done something you regret, but you don’t have to let it define you. Let go of the past and make a decision to be a better person. Start fresh with a clean slate — even if it’s just in your own mind.

Conclusion

Forgiveness is not something you have to do. It’s something you get to do. Whether someone has hurt you or betrayed you or you’ve hurt someone else, forgiveness is your path to healing and wholeness. It’s your chance to let go of your anger, move forward, and become the best version of yourself. Forgiveness is a process, and it can take time. And if you feel like you’re not making any progress, just remember that it’s a journey. Don’t expect to be completely healed after a few weeks. Forgiveness is a process that you have to work at over time. Forgiveness can help you move forward, but only if you let it. It’s up to you to take the steps and do the work needed to heal. The Bible gives us principles for righting our wrongs that can bring healing to ourselves and others. While forgiveness doesn’t have to happen, it should. When you decide to forgive, you open your heart to healing and the chance to move forward.